Are you still my family?
by KokoroHana
Summary: MikaYuu. Set after chapter 35. Mika took Yuu away from the battlefield and escaped with him. But as soon as there are out of harm's way, Mika can't control his blood thirst anymore...
1. A struggling RED LIGHT

„Yuu, wake up…" Mika said as he carried Yuu away from the battlefield and the humans who protected both of them and even turned against their own people and disobeyed the orders of their General.

 _Stupid humans._

He stopped and glanced back at the battlefield that was already far behind them. He couldn't see what was going on, but the fact that they were still fighting must mean that the nobles arrived to eliminate them.

… _This doesn´t concern me. Vampires…Humans… Make your war and destroy one another, I don't care._

He looked at Yuu and whispered: "We don't belong here, Yuu-Chan. Never have and never will…" With these words he continued walking.

He walked about half an hour. The noise from the battlefield are no longer heard. Nothing could be heard beside the wind rustling through the trees. No one could be seen in the town. Everyone must have been evacuated… or had died.

Mika was exhausted. To fight against so many humans on his own had cost him his entire strength. Aside from his almost completely used up strength, his sword had sucked more of his blood than usual. Even if he is a Vampire, there is still a limit to what he can do.

He looked around and saw an old abandoned building.

 _I can walk no more… It seems, this time I overreached myself… I'm almost at my limit… This damn white-haired General, I was careless earlier. Fortunately he didn't activate his weapon, otherwise I would be dead now…_

He decided to have a rest in the building, until Yuu would wake up. They were far enough away from the battlefield, so that they wouldn't be found.

Who would search for them anyway?

The humans? Sure. They want to have Yuu back to continue to use him for their own purposes. But for now they have to deal with the other vampires. It'll take a while for them to recover from that fight.

René or Lacus? They wouldn't care if Mika died.

Ferid? Probably. If Krul orders him to bring them back…

They have time until they notice that he's not coming back. Krul told him to bring Yuu to her, but that thought never crossed his mind even once. Even if she promises not harm him, he would never hand him over. He doesn't trust this bloodsuckers.

He would wait until Yuu wakes up and then try to convince him to run away with him. It doesn't matter where as long as no one finds them.

Mika went inside the building and stood in a large main hall. It seemed that this was once a kind of commercial building. The floor was crumbly and the grass was growing through the already destroyed floor. Two large windows were on the left side. They were the only light source.

He put down Yuu, carefully leaning him against the wall, where the windows were attached.

Mika looked around. The rest of the building was in the same state as the main hall. The staircase to the upper floors were utterly destroyed so that it was impossible to go up there.

Fortunately he and Yuu were the only ones who were hiding there.

He returned to Yuu who was still unconscious. He kneed beside him to check if Yuu was injured somewhere. No wounds could be seen and his breathing was normal, so at least an injury wasn't the reason for his current state.

"Come on, Yuu-Chan… Wake up…" Mika said quietly.

Suddenly Mika's mouth became dry and his breathing got heavier. He knew what that meant…

 _Shit… Not now…_

He needed blood. Human blood. His gaze fell on Yuu.

 _I can't… Not him…_

He stood up and managed to walk to the other side of the room and sit down, leaning against the wall.

 _It hurts… It hurts so much…_

He took out the last remaining blood vial he had still left. Although his hands were shaking, he managed to bring the vial to his mouth and drank it.

 _Please work… At least this time…_

His wish wasn't granted. Kruls Blood had already lost its effectiveness.

 _Dammit… It won't work… At this rate I'll..._

He put his head down on his knees, trying not to lose his sanity.

 _I endured this thirst for four years…_

" _Not drinking blood will turn you into an ugly mindless demon."_

 _I still choose that over becoming a vampire, but… Before I'll become a demon... I want to talk to him one last time… I want at least say goodbye to him…_

 _Please…_


	2. I don't want nobody to get killed

Yuu woke up with a light headache. As he opened his eyes, all he could see was darkness, except for the light of the moon, which shone through the two windows, attached on the wall on which Yuu was leaning.

After some time he began to realize, that he was in some kind of building and he must have slept quite a few hours if it's already night.

It took a few minutes but Yuu slowly remembered what happened.

 _That's right… We tried to save Guren and after Shinoa said that we're going to abandon him, I took two of this damned pills_ _and…_

 _I had fought against that vampire noble and then... Then Asuramaru lend me his power…_

Now Yuu could remember everything.

 _Dammit! I had the power to save Guren, but Kimizuki, that moron! He caught me with Kiseki-O's Box and then… What happened then? I can't remember… And how did I get here?_

 _And where are the others? Damn… Shinoa and Mitsuba will get so mad at me…Especially for taking way too much of this pills…_

Suddenly the conversation with Asuramaru popped into his head.

" _You're already dead._

 _At least, you should be."_

 _I should have been dead, huh?_

Yuu breathed a sigh of relief.

 _Maybe I overdid it… But… If one member of my family dies, I couldn't stand that. I don't want to experience that again. So of course I'm willing to give my life for that._

 _Guren saved me. He taught me how to fight. How to handle a sword. Even though he's using me for his own benefits… I couldn't let him die. Even if I had to go this far…_

His thoughts were interrupted by the creaking of the front door. Yuu couldn't see who it was, he could only see the shadow of the person who entered the room just now.

The Person closed the door and he could hear that the stranger was coming closer.

Yuu didn't know what to do.

Was he an enemy?

A friend?

A human or a vampire?

Or just a civilian, searching for shelter?

He didn't know.

Should he just sit there and do nothing?

Should he draw his sword?

He didn't know.

If it's a vampire, there is no doubt that he'll attack Yuu.

So, drawing his sword wouldn't be such a bad idea.

But what if it's a civilian? If they see a stranger pointing a sword at them, they surely would run away.

… _It's still better than being killed by one of this bloodsuckers._

He drew his sword, pointing at the figure who almost reached him.

As the stranger stepped into the moonlight right before him, he lowered his sword, staring at the person in front of him wide-eyed.

"Mika?"

Mika was caught off guard by the familiar voice saying his name. He stared into those green eyes he knew so well, belonging to the person sitting in front of him.

"…Yuu-Chan?"


	3. No Signs, no Lights

"…Yuu-Chan?"

Mika said with disbelief in his voice.

"You woke up?"

"Yeah… A while ago… Wait. What are _you_ doing here?"

He asked as Mika sat down in front of Yuu, looking at him.

"You're feeling well? No pain? Not feeling dizzy?"

He ignored Yuu's question.

"No, I'm fine", he answered, "Answer my Question."

"… I saved you from the battlefield. You were unconscious."

Mika responded, not averting his gaze from Yuu.

"What? Why was I unconscious?"

"I don't know. I took you and brought you here."

Yuu thought about the reason why he fell unconscious, but the only thing that came to his mind was Kiseki-O's Box.

"…Where are the others?"

He asked, afraid of the answer.

Mika looked away, not saying anything.

"Mika, tell me. Where are they? If you know anything, then tell me. You said you "saved" me. From what?

"… From the humans" Mika said quietly.

"So you must know what happened to Shinoa and the others. Please tell me."

"…"

 _If I tell him, he would run straight to them… And leave me alone… But I can't lie to him either…"_

"Mika!"

The seriousness in Yuu's voice made Mika look at him again.

"Tell me."

They looked each other in the eyes for a few seconds before Mika spoke.

"… After I escaped with you, they were attacked by nobles..."

He could see fear written all over Yuu's face. He was about to jump up and to run back to the battlefield. But before he could even stand up, Mika placed his hands on his shoulders, holding Yuu back from running off on his own.

"Let me go, Mika! I have to help them, I can't just sit here and do nothing!"

"Don't worry, they're fine."

"No, they're not! They fighting against nobles, if I'm not there they will die!"

He pushed Mikas hands on his shoulders away and was about to stand up again.

"Listen, the battle is over, it's been three days since then." Mika said quickly.

Yuu looked at him with a surprised expression.

"What?"

Mika gave a sigh of relief.

 _At least he's not trying to run away again._

"You slept for three days. The battle is already over."

Yuu couldn't believe that he was unconscious for three whole days. But he knew Mika wouldn't lie to him.

"… And… How did it end?" He almost didn't dare to ask. He was afraid that they died. He swore to himself that he would never let anybody die again while he was the only one surviving.

"Calm down. I said already that they're fine. They could retreat before they had to fight them."

Yuu leaned against the wall again, as he heard those words. Visibly relieved.

"So they made it, huh? I'm glad that they're alive. I'm really glad. I wouldn't have known what to do if anything happened to them…"

He said, while smiling.

Mika looked at him.

 _I didn't see that smile in a while… Are they really that important to him?_

Only now Yuu noticed the blood on Mikas clothes.

"Did you get hurt!?"

He asked with worry in his voice.

"It's no big deal", Mika responded, "These wounds already healed so…"

He stopped in the middle of the sentence and looked away from Yuu.

 _No big deal", huh? If I were human, I would be dead. These kind of wounds don't heal so easily… I'm really a monster…_

Yuu saw the hurt expression on Mikas face. It was the same expression as he asked him if he were no longer human back in Shinjuku.

 _Ah, that's right… he's a vampire now… Because of a certain Idiot who ran away back then…_

"Mika, I'm…"

"Don't say it." Mika interrupted him," I don't blame you for that. It was my own fault. It's the punishment for what I did to all of you…"

"That's not true! It's…" He began, but he stopped as he saw Mika, who was looking at him with such a sad expression he never saw before.

 _I didn't know that he could make this kind of face… Back then he was always smiling…_

 _But now…_

He didn't need to say anything. Yuu already knew what he wanted to say:

" _Please… Just stop…"_

He decided not to continue to talk about this. Mika was probably much more suffering than Yuu himself…

They both remained silent.

"Anyway", Yuu said after a while, "As soon as the sun rises, I have to go back to the others…"

"Why?" Mika asked confused. "Why do you want to go back to them so desperately? You don't have to. Just… Just let us run away to a place far away from here."

"I can't. They're my friends. If I don't go back… I don't know what will happen to them…"

 _I don't want them to get hurt again by this Kureto-Guy…_

"You don't need them. They're only using you. I'm your only friend. I'm the only one you can trust." Mika said, trying to convince Yuu to stay with him.

 _I won't let him go again… Not this time…_

"Mika, listen. If I don't go back they'll get hurt. I ran away from the battlefield. That's treason. And it doesn't matter to them who they punish for that…"

"Why won't you understand?! They're only using you for their own benefits, nothing more!" Mika shouted, losing his temper for the first time in a while. He just couldn't understand why he would still risk his life for those humans, after what happened to him in Shinjuku.

 _I don't want to see you like this again…_

Now it was Yuu who lost his temper.

"I don't get it! Why do you always treat me like a little kid that can't take care of himself?! Yeah, I know that the army is only using me, but my friends would never do that! They're different!"

"I'm not treating you like a little kid. I just…"

 _I just don't want to lose you… You're the only one I have… I don't want to be alone…_

"I just think that you don't realize what they're doing to you…"

"I can't abandon them! They're family! I'm not let them get hurt again!"

 _Family?_

This word reminded Mika of the day four years ago, as he told Yuu to leave him behind and escape on his own.

" _Now that I… Finally… Had a Family… I can't abandon you…"_

"Yuu-Chan…"

Before he could say anything, Mika suddenly felt his breath growing heavier.

 _Are you fucking kidding me? Not now…_

"Mika? What's wrong?" Yuu asked worried.

Mika didn't look at Yuu.

"Mika?..."


	4. I need your blood

„Mika, what's wrong? "

"It's… Nothing… I'm… Fine"

Mika said, trying not to lose control over himself.

"Do you seriously think I'd believe that?!" Yuu shouted.

"Don't worry… I'm… just a little… tired… that's all…"

 _I can't tell him the truth… Otherwise he'll…_

It got worse. He needed blood. Three days ago, he managed to suppress his desire for blood, but the fact that it already happened twice in this short amount of time could only mean that he won't be able to suppress it any longer.

"Mika, just tell me what's the matter." Yuu said, reaching out his hand for Mika.

Before his hand could even touch Mika, he backed away.

"DON'T COME NEAR ME!"

Yuu was shocked by this unexpected reaction from his friend.

"… I'm sorry. I didn't mean… to yell."

Mika apologized, still breathing heavily.

"… Seriously. What's gotten into you?"

He asked, looking at Mika.

 _What's with him all of a sudden?_

… _Don't tell me he…_

"Mika, do you need blood?"

"No. I don't need it" He said quickly, looking away.

Yuu knew he was lying.

"Who do you try to fool? If you need it that badly, just say it. You know I..."

"I really don't need it!"

"Stop lying! I can see you're torturing yourself. Just drink some of my blood and…"

"I DON'T WANT IT!"

He was fed up with Mika's stubbornness.

"Why?! Why are you so damn stubborn? Vampires need blood, otherwise…"

He didn't want to think about that.

"Just… drink, okay? It'll only get worse, if you…"

"I said I don't want it!"

Yuu was at his wits end.

 _At this rate, this will continue until tomorrow morning... Unless I…_

In the corner of his eye, Mika could see that Yuu was taking his sword.

Before he could do anything stupid with that sword, he grabbed Yuu by his hand.

"Don't! Don't… do that… please… If I see blood now… I don't know… what I'll do…"

He could hear the fear in Mika's voice.

As soon as he returned his sword to its sheath, the grip on his hand was released and Mika was distancing himself from him again.

 _It's no use… He absolutely won't drink blood… But why? Why now? Is it because it's me? But I already told him it's okay…_

There was a question that bothered Yuu for quite a while now, but he didn't dare to ask because he knew he wouldn't get a straight answer…

"Say… How much… Human blood did you drink the past four years?"

He didn't mean to ask. It just slipped out. As he realized what he just asked, he tried to take back what he just asked.

"I-I- I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't' ask that, it was just…"

"I didn't."

He was interrupted by a voice so quietly, he could barely hear it.

"Huh? Mika what…?"

"… I…"

He hesitated.

"…didn't… drink human blood before."

Yuu couldn't believe what he just heard.

"What?"

"I'm only half vampire. If I drink human blood… I'll turn into… a complete one."

"How… Did you manage to live without drinking these past four years?"

"Krul, the vampire Queen, gave me… her blood. But now… It doesn't work anymore."

"Why did you do that to yourself?"

"Didn't want any…"

"Stop with those lies already. Tell me the real reason."

"…"

"Mika!"

"…"

 _I can't tell him…_

"Please tell me why. Why would you rather live through this suffering than drink blood?"

"…"

 _If I tell him, he'll…_

"Could it be that you're afraid? Are you afraid of becoming one of them?"

"No… that's not it…"

 _That's not what I'm afraid of…_

"Then why? Why do you accept death so easily?"

"BECAUSE YOU WOULD HATE ME FOR THAT!"

After hearing those words, Yuu didn't know what to say.

He only looked at Mika, with a shocked expression.

Outside it started to rain heavily.

Mika averted his gaze and continued with a much lower voice, almost a whisper.

"You would hate me… for drinking human blood… I would turn… into the one thing you hate… I couldn't stand that… I would rather die than… being hated by… you."

He looked at Yuu again.

"You're the only I have, Yuu-chan."

"Mika…"

 _That's why he refused to drink these whole four years? Because of me? Because he seriously think I would hate him for that?_

"Mika, listen I could never hate you. Even if you become a vampire, you're still Mika. You're still the one that takes all of the burdens on himself. Nothing will change. You can have as much blood as you want from me."

 _No. I don't want that. I can't do that to you…_

"I can't… It's too late for me… I supressed this thirst for four whole years… If I drink it now in my current state… I would drink far too much… It would kill you!"

"If you drink too much I'll just hit you"

"That won't do any good… Physical strength is useless against a vampire…"

"I know you won't drink too much. Just…"

"I won't drink your blood…"

"Mika, why-"

"Please. I don't want to hurt you."

Mika looked at Yuu with a sad and hurt expression.

"Mika."

He reached out his hand to him.

"I don't want to lose you. Not again. So…"

Mika remembered the first time they met eight years ago. He also reached out his hand to Yuu that time.

" _Hi, I'm Mikaela. Nice to meet you"_

"Mika… Please…"

He looked Yuu in the eyes for a few seconds. Then he slowly took his outstretched hand and responded:

"…Okay."

Yuu unbuttoned his uniform, exposing his neck.

Mika could hardly restrain himself.

"It will hurt… Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

He drew closer to Yuu, bringing his fangs to his neck but stopped only inches before it, murmuring:

"… Forgive me…"

He sank his fangs into his neck.

Yuu only flinched, but to Mika's surprise he didn't scream because of the pain.

 _Does he holds himself back from screaming?_

He didn't know if it was because he's a vampire or he would also think like that as a human, but…

He thought that Yuu's blood tasted very delightful. He closed his eyes and enjoyed every single drop of it.

 _I want more… More of it… More..._

He slowly released his fangs from his neck.

 _But I can't… I won't hurt him._

Before he could drew back he was pulled into a hug.

"…Yuu…Chan?"

Mika asked, lightly confused by this sudden gesture.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, this is my fault. It's my fault that you had to endure this. I'm sorry."

He apologized.

"I told you already that it's…"

"No! It IS my fault. I ran away. I left you behind. Because of me you were turned into a vampire. It's all my fault. All these years I felt guilty for that and I regretted it so much, that I could never tell you "I'm sorry". "

Mika didn't like this sudden closeness. He wasn't used to it. He felt uncomfortable.

"Yuu-Chan… Let me go…"

He tried to free himself, but Yuu hugged him even tighter.

"No. I won't."

"Yuu-Chan… Please… Let me go…"

Then Mika heard three words he never expected to hear from Yuu.

"I've missed you."

"Huh?"

"For so long… I thought you were dead… All this time… I missed you."

Yuu couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He was crying.

"Yuu-Chan…"

He could feel warmth. He didn't even realize he felt cold.

Yuu felt Mika slowly relaxing in his arms.

"Hey, did it hurt to endure this… for this long?"

He managed to ask between the sobs.

"Yeah…"

"I'm sorry"

"It hurt…"

"I'm sorry."

"It hurt… so damn much…" Now it was Mika who started to cry.

"I'm so sorry."

* * *

After a while Yuu released Mika from his embrace, but before he could say anything, he felt something pulling hesitantly at his shirt.

He looked down to see it was Mika.

"Would you let me… stay like this… a little longer?"

He never expected Mika to say something like this.

"…Okay."

And with that Mika leaned his head against Yuu's chest. He closed his eyes, exhaling deeply. He smiled.

 _It's so warm._

" _I've missed you."_

"… Me too."


	5. You make me realize who I need

They sat like this for quite a while. Yuu didn't know if Mika had fallen asleep or not, since he hadn't said anything until now. He touched the spot where he bit him.

 _Ouch. It still hurts… I really had to suppress the urge to scream earlier. I didn't want to scare him or made him think that I couldn't stand the pain._

 _In comparison to his pain that he'd have to endure all these years… This was nothing._

Mika didn't move. All that could be heard from him was his steady breathing.

"Are you asleep?"

"…"

 _No response, huh? I guess even vampires need to sleep. And after all what happened… No wonder he's tired. But still… Of all the places he could have fallen asleep… Why on me?_

 _Not that I mind, but… I'm not used to this kind of thing…_

 _I didn't expect him to be so clingy. Was he always like that? If so… then he never really showed it. He was always the one with the biggest smile ever… Even when he was about to cry…_

Yuu looked outside the window. The rain had stopped and the moon could be seen again and shone through the windows, enlightening the room. He looked at the moon for a few seconds before he began to speak with a quiet voice.

„Hey Mika, do you remember when we first met? You totally beat the crap out of me. At first I thought you were really arrogant. I absolutely couldn't stand you. I didn't want to have anything to do with you… or with the other children.

It had nothing to do with you guys, it was just…"

He paused.

"I was afraid.

I was afraid of being rejected again at some point or to get left behind…

I guess it's all thanks to my parents that I turned into such a loner.

I didn't want to have a family again…

I didn't want to experience that again…

I didn´t want to be thrown away like trash again…

So I decided that I was better off on my own.

I built a wall around myself and let nobody in. And everybody who tried to get in I scared away. All of them slowly gave it up to get close to me. Everyone… Except for you.

I couldn't understand why someone wanted so desperately to befriend someone like me, who was called "Demon-Spawn" and was to be killed by his parents.

I thought "Is he stupid? Why putting so much effort into trying to integrate me into his family?" Even after I told you I didn't want a family… You still didn't give up on me…"

He gave a small laugh. Except for his low voice, nothing else could be heard.

"I never told you that, but…

Back then, you gave me something really important. You gave me a family. A home. A place I could return to. You gave me the feeling that I hadn't to be afraid anymore. That you would never let me down or throw me away. You freed me from my loneliness.

I know, I never really showed it, but… I was really happy to have you around.

It was the first time in my life that I felt… wanted.

You gave my life meaning… And even sacrificed your own life for mine four years ago…

But above all you gave me the warmth I longed for all this time. You were the one who gave me that and I'm really grateful for that.

You know, after we failed to escape, I had nightmares every night. Always the same dream. All of you lying dead on the ground. I always felt guilty for running away back then. I left you behind to die… I'm sorry. I was glad as I found out you're still alive. I was so happy that I actually cried.

What you said earlier. That you didn't drink human blood before, because you were afraid that I would hate you for that… You didn't have to go that far… 4 years, living with that unbearable desire. You always carry the burden all on your own. You're way too stubborn for your own good.

Seriously, you have me, there's no need to do it on your own. Let me carry some of the weight, too.

It's my fault that you were turned into a vampire after all, so it's okay.

Yeah, I hate vampires, but I could never hate you.

As long as I have you back, I don't care what you are.

Human. Vampire. I really don't care about that. You're Mika. That'll never change. Even if your physical appearance changed, you're still the Mika I met eight years ago. "

He took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling of the room.

"You know, after that day four years ago… I was really afraid to lose someone dear to me again… That I didn't want to get close to someone ever again… You could say I became my old self once again.

The only thing I lived for was revenge for what they did to you and the others. I didn't want any friends. They were unnecessary for my revenge.

But thanks to these guys I were able to move on. I still want my revenge, but it's far more important for me to protect them. Even though we have our differences of opinion, and mostly because of my stubbornness, but…

It's still fun being with them. Sure they have flaws, but they're still great friends.

You really should meet them. I bet you would get along.

Shinoa always makes fun of me and loves teasing a lot. And I mean a lot and she's really sarcastic, but she's strong and a good leader.

Mitsuba has a short temper, but she's still doing everything to protect us.

Kimizuki may be a moron and we always get into a fight, but I know he has a caring side he doesn't want to show us,

Yoichi may be not the strongest of our group, but he still fights to protect what is dear to him.

Guren is just a big Idiot, but he saved me and taught me how to fight."

He paused one again.

"I can't abandon them. They're important to me. I would risk my life for them. If one of them dies… I wouldn't know what to do…

But no matter how important they are to me…"

He looked at Mika.

"They could never replace you.

You're irreplaceable to me. Because you changed my life.

If it weren't for you… I wouldn't be who I am now. I don't think that I would even be alive… It's all thanks to you. I'm really glad I met you."

He smiled.

"You're my home, Mika."

Yuu said with such a quiet voice, that it was almost a whisper.

"…"

He looked outside the window, waiting for Mika to wake up.


	6. We're gonna see the end of night

After a while Mika lifted his head and sat down next to Yuu without saying a word nor looking at him.

They both remained silent, until Yuu spoke, while looking on the ground:

"Mika… I can't… go with you."

"I know."

Mika said so promptly, that Yuu was caught off guard.

"Huh?"

He looked at Mika with a surprised expression.

 _What's with that all of a sudden? Not long ago he didn't want to let me go at all cost._

"They're important to you, aren't they? And if you don't go back they'll get hurt, right? If it's something you have to do to protect them, then it's okay."

Yuu couldn't believe that he was serious.

 _What changed his mind in this short time?_

"Are… you sure? I mean… A few moments ago you…"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

Mika interrupted him.

"And… Why did you change your mind?" He asked. "Earlier you absolutely didn't want to let me go back, saying that they're only using me…

But now, you say it's fine if I go back. Why?"

"Because…"

He hesitated.

"They care about you. I saw it. On the battlefield."

Mika said quietly without looking at Yuu.

"They were the ones… who let us escape. They even protected me, by turning against their own people…"

Yuu stared at him in complete bewilderment.

 _They did what?! Oh man, that'll cause a lot of problems… Especially with the Hiiragis…_

 _But still…_

His facial expression changed into a warm smile.

 _These guys…_

 _To go this far for me…_

Mika glanced at Yuu and saw that he was smiling.

"And even though I'm a vampire… Their enemy…"

He continued,

"They still protected me and let me take you with me… At first I thought they let us escape because they didn't see another way and were desperate, but now…"

He paused.

"Now I think that they did it because they wanted to protect you."

He looked at Yuu with a sad expression.

"You're really important to them. That's why I let you go."

Yuu stared into his eyes for a few seconds, before Mika gave a sad smile and looked away again.

"They turned red, didn't they?"

"…Yeah."

He responded, his eyes still fixated on his friend.

"So I really turned into a full vampire, huh?"

He said with a sad voice.

"Are you… Afraid of me now?"

Mika asked hesitantly.

"No, I'm not… It's just… I'm not used to them, that's all…"

 _I shouldn't have stared at him like this…I should have known that they would turn red… Stupid…_

Mika didn't respond

Yuu didn't know what to say to him, so he remained silent.

 _Damn… Now he's like that again… What can I say to him? "Hey, your eyes aren't that bad, you'll get used to them."_

… _No way I could tell him that…_

"They're really crazy, you know?"

Yuu was pulled out of his thoughts by this question.

"Huh?"

"Your friends. Trusting me to take care of you, even though they don't know me and risking their own lives for me by betraying their commander."

 _That's the first time he called them my friends…_

"Yeah, I know. Pretty stupid, isn't it?"

He said, giving a small laugh.

"Without them… I wouldn't have had the opportunity to talk to you. Tell them… I'm… really grateful for that and I'm sorry… for what I did"

Mika said shyly.

"Tomorrow we're going back, so you can tell them yourself."

"Huh?"

He looked at Yuu with disbelief.

"Wait a sec. You don't really intend to take me with you to the humans, do you?"

"Of course."

Yuu answered promptly.

 _He can't be serious…_

"Did you forget that I'm a vampire? They'll kill both of us if you're bringing a vampire with you. I can't come with you."

"Well… It won't be easy, but I'm sure I can manage that somehow."

He said with confidence.

"Do you really think they would believe you if you tell them that I'm not going to harm them in any way?"

Mika asked, still not believing that Yuu was serious.

"Sure they won't believe me that easily, so I just have to convince them."

 _He's really serious._

"And if they want to experiment on me? You can't tell me you have that much power to tell those who are superior to you what they can and cannot do."

"If they try that I'm going to cut them in half."

Mika sighed. He saw that it was pointless to convince him otherwise.

"Listen… I really can't go with you."

 _Why do you want to take me with you?_

 _You have your friends, you don't need me anymore…_

 _I'm only a burden to you…_

"And what will you do? Go back to the vampires? Live on your own?"

Yuu asked slight angry.

"… I don't know."

He really didn't know where he wanted to go.

 _I only stayed with the vampires because of Krul's blood and because I could search for Yuu…_

 _There is no need for me to return to them._

 _Live on my own? Maybe… But sooner or later I want blood… I can't hurt humans for that…_

 _Yuu-Chan wouldn't forgive me that…_

 _But I absolutely can't go with him…_

 _I can't stay with him…_

 _If I do I'll…_

"So, why aren't you coming with me then?" Yuu interrupted his thoughts.

"Is it because you're afraid of wanting blood again? Don't worry, you can have as much blood as you want from me."

He said.

"… I really can't…"

Yuu lost his patience.

"I'm not going without you! I don't care if you want to or not! I'm only leaving this place with you together!"

Yuu yelled at him, having enough of his stubbornness.

"Why? You don't have to… Just… leave me here…"

"I'm not going to abandon you again!"

Mika stared at him wide-eyed.

As he saw that hurt expression on Yuu's face he remembered that fateful day four years ago.

" _Go… Yuu-Chan…"_

" _Shut up! You're coming with me! We're leaving together!"_

" _I can't abandon you…"_

"…Sorry for yelling."

Yuu apologized, looking away from him.

"…Never mind."

They both remained silent for a few moments until Yuu spoke:

"I'm definitely not leaving you here. Even if I have to drag or carry you."

Yuu said with determination.

"Yuu-Chan…"

Mika gave a small laugh.

"You know that I'm stronger than you, don't you?"

"Shut up. Over the past four years I also became a lot stronger. I even did ten thousand push-ups every day."

Mika burst out laughing.

 _Four years since then and he still think I would believe THAT?_

"You really haven't changed, Yuu-Chan. You're still bad at lying."

"Says the one who tried to tell me he doesn't need blood while trying not to lose control over himself."

"…Sorry for lying."

He said while smiling.

Yuu glanced over to him

"You haven't really changed either. You're still the one who takes it all on himself without relying on others.

That's the one thing I never liked about you."

He said with a serious voice and continued with a much lower voice.

"Always sacrificing yourself… Be the only who get hurt… Stop that already. I don't want to see that again."

Mika heard slight anger in his voice.

 _He probably means that time I offered Ferid my blood…_

"…Alright."

He replied not wanting to fight with him.

Yuu exhaled deeply before speaking again.

"…It has been a while since we talked this much, huh?"

"Yeah."

"The last time we saw each other was in Shinjuku. I cannot say how surprised I was as you suddenly stood in front of me again…

I mean… Four whole years I thought you were dead…"

He looked at him.

"I'm glad you're still alive."

Yuu stared into his eyes for a few seconds.

 _It's really… unfamiliar not to look into his blue eyes…_

Mika averted his gaze as he realized that he was staring.

"…"

… _I really should stop staring into his eyes like that…_

Yuu cursed himself.

"Hey, Mika?"

"…"

"Mika?"

"…"

 _Great. Now he's ignoring me._

 _Serves me right._

He sighed.

"Stop ignoring me. That's not like you. You never ignore someone. Actually you give them attention until you get on their nerves."

"…"

 _Okay, it's creepy when he's like that._

"When we first met, too. I thought it was really annoying to have someone around me who can't leave you alone."

"…Really?"

Yuu heard a quiet voice asking.

"Nah, not really. It just...irritated me. I wasn't used to… people caring about me, that's all."

He said being happy that Mika talked to him again.

Before he could say something else, Mika asked him:

"Hey… Did you really think that I was arrogant back then?"

"Well, at first I…Wait… You heard that?!"

He asked with a shocked expression.

"Yeah."

"I thought you were asleep?!"

"I wasn't."

Mika said, quiet amused.

"W-w-why didn't you say anything?"

Yuu stuttered turning bright red.

"Because I didn't want to interrupt you in your emotional speech."

He replied, enjoying the reaction of his friend.

"H-h-how much… H-h-how much did you hear?"

He almost didn't dare to ask.

"Hmmm… From "Do you remember when we first met?", "You gave my life meaning", and "You're irreplaceable to me" until "You're my Home"…

So I guess… Everything."

With every word Mika spoke, Yuu turned redder and redder. He put his head on his knees to hide his embarrassment.

 _This is so… embarrassing… I can't believe he heard every single word I said…_

Mika looked at his friend, smiling.

"You know… It made me really happy to hear that."

"… Good for you…"

He murmured, still resting his head on his knees.

"I really didn't know you could be so sentimental."

"Would you shut up already?!"

Mika gave a small laugh. He really enjoyed this.

Yuu was happy to hear him laugh again.

 _At least he laughed… Didn't hear that laugh for years…_

Mika's gaze fell on Yuu's neck. His smile slowly disappeared.

"Say…Did I… hurt you earlier?"

"…Not at all…"

 _He lies… I did hurt him…_

 _He must have been holding himself back from screaming because of me…_

"… I'm sorry."

"I said it didn't hurt."

Mika knew he would deny lying, so he didn't say anything.

 _I hurt him just because I was too weak to resist anymore…_

 _I even wanted more… If I hadn't stopped myself… I could've killed him…_

"I really am a monster after all…"

He murmured to himself, but Yuu still heard it.

"No, you're not."

"Of course I am.

What else would you call me?

Needing human blood… Way stronger than humans…Not be able to die so easily…

How am I not a monster?"

Yuu quickly lifted his head and looked angrily at Mika.

"If you say that one more time I'll hit you!

And besides…"

He paused.

"I already told you that it doesn't matter to me what you are.

Nothing has changed between us.

You need to drink blood to stay alive? Everyone needs to drink something or else they'll die.

You're stronger than ordinary humans? There are many people who are stronger than others. That doesn't prove anything.

You're not able to die so easily? You still can die if you don't watch out. You're not immortal.

Those vampires are the real monsters.

They only look down on us humans…

They only treat us like livestock, nothing more…

You're not like them, Mika!

You never looked down on me.

You would have never drink my blood if I hadn't allowed you to.

You're not a monster!"

"You know that I easily could've killed you if I had drank too mu-"

"But you didn't! I know you would never hurt me. As I offered you my blood I knew you wouldn't go too far.

Because you're not like those vampires.

I know you."

Yuu calmed down a little before he spoke again.

"You're still the old Mika. You're still the one I met eight years ago. We can still talk like this as if nothing had ever happened.

Nothing has changed."

"Nothing, huh?"

 _Everything has changed…_

 _It will never be the same as it was four years ago…_

 _We never can go back…_

"So… Never call yourself a monster in front of me again, got it?"

Mika nodded. He didn't want to argue with Yuu. He knew how stubborn he can be.

"I'm sure you stop thinking like that, when you spent enough time with my friends."

"You still intend to drag me with you?"

"Literally."

Mika sighed.

 _There's no point in trying to convince him otherwise…._

 _He wouldn't change his mind anyway…_

"Speaking of which…"

Yuu began.

"Earlier you avoided my question why you don't want to come with me."

"…"

"It's not because you don't trust my friends, isn't it?"

After a few seconds Mika shook his head.

"Is it because I'll get in trouble because you're a vampire?"

He shook his head again.

"Are you worried about what the higher-ups would do with you?"

"… No… it's… not about those humans… It's just…"

He averted his gaze.

"I… just can't stay… with you anymore."

Yuu couldn't believe that he was serious.

"Why? I mean… You were the one who said "let's run away". And now you suddenly changed your mind?"

"…"

"Tell me why.

Tell me why you rather be alone than coming with me, Mika."

"…"

Yuu waited for a few seconds but didn't get a response.

 _I guess he won't tell me no matter how much I ask…_

 _But I still wonder… What changed his mind?_

 _Earlier he tried so hard to convince me to go with him and now…_

 _Now he's saying that he can't even stay with me anymore?_

 _I really don't get him…_

He looked outside the window. The night sky was so clear as if it didn't rain at all before. The only things he could see were the moon and the stars.

"… I'm afraid."

He suddenly heard a quiet voice saying. Yuu turned around to look at Mika again.

At first he didn't know what he meant. But then he realized that it must be his reason for not wanting to go with him and asked:

"Afraid? Of what?"

Mika hesitated at first but then looked at him with an expression like he was about to cry and said with a sad voice:

"…To see you die."

Yuu didn't know what to say. He only stared at him with wide eyes.

"I'd stopped aging."

He continued, avoiding eye contact.

I'll live for eternity but… You will grow old and…"

Yuu could hear that Mika tried his best to hold back his tears.

"One day you won't be there anymore… Then I'll be alone again… If that day comes I'll…"

"Don't say it."

He was interrupted by Yuu.

"I know that."

He said quietly.

"I know that I'll die before you but… I don't want you to throw away your life just because I died…"

I know it's selfish, but… I don't want you to die…'"

"And what do you want me to do instead?"

Mika asked, not believing that he seriously demanded that from him.

"I want you to live…

To live until… you're really sure it's enough…

Your life doesn't depend on mine, so don't end it because of me.

Live for yourself.

Not for me."

He looked into Mika's eyes.

"Promise me that you won't give up your life if I die."

"… I can't"

He turned away.

 _What's the point in living without you?_

 _I don't want that…_

 _I don't want to continue on living while you're not here anymore…_

 _Don't ask me for that._

"Mika look at me."

Yuu interrupted his thoughts.

He didn't turn around.

 _Please stop._

 _I don't want to hear anything more…_

 _I just… can't live without you…_

 _Why don't you understand?_

"Mika."

 _Just stop…_

"Look at me, please."

Yuu begged him with such sadness in his voice he never heard before.

Mika slowly turned around to face him.

"I know how it feels to be alone, when you have no one left. When you feel as if your life doesn't have any meaning anymore. When you want to die so badly because you can't stand the loneliness. I know how much it hurts.

But if you end your life because of that… Perhaps you'll miss something. The chance to meet new people… To find a new reason for life… To be happy again…

You also wanted me to live back then, don't you? As you told me to leave you behind… You didn't want me to die.

Even though I thought so many times, it had been better if I died together with you… I continued living. And I'm glad I did. I found my friends and I met you again."

He smiled at him.

"That's why I don't want you to die only because I'm gone. Because I don't want you to miss that chance. And I don't want you to think so lowly of your life, I want you to appreciate it.

Only because I'm dead doesn't mean that your life isn't worth anything anymore.

If you can live, then live.

If you don't have a reason for living, then find one.

If you give up your life so easily I'd never forgive you."

Yuu took a deep breath.

"Promise me you'll live. Promise me you'll find a new reason for life. Just promise me that, Mika."

"… You know that I could break that promise if the time comes?"

"Yeah, I know. But we have still plenty of time until that. So I just have to make sure you'll keep that promise by giving you many other reasons to live."

Yuu said with confidence.

Mika saw in his eyes how determined he was.

"You're… really persistent.

Wanting me to come with you…

Telling me to live despite of your death…

… To find a new reason for life…"

He said looking sadly at Yuu.

"… I can't do that."

He whispered.

"Back then I lost almost everything. You're the only one I have left, Yuu-Chan."

 _I'm a vampire… There is absolutely nothing left for me in this world when you die…_

"Telling me to find a new reason for life is almost like… like telling me to forget you. I can't do that."

"I didn't mean it like that. Of course I don't want you to forget me… I'm just saying that you have to keep living… Even if I'm not here anymore."

"You're cruel, you know that?

Saying it like it's nothing…

Maybe you could do that… But I can't.

I'm not like you.

If you're gone…"

He averted his gaze.

 _Then the world has absolutely no meaning for me anymore…_

 _And also my life…_

Yuu sighed and placed his hand on Mika's head.

"Hm?"

Before he could say anything, Yuu ruffled his hair.

After a few seconds, Mika asked with an angry voice:

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

Yuu removed his hand.

"Nothing. Just thought that this expression didn't fit you at all."

 _I rather see you smile…_

"Huh?"

Mika asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"Anyway, there is no point in constantly talking about my death.

I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Not until you wear this stupid smile of yours again and you can honestly promise me that you'll live. Until then I'll stick with you. You won't get rid of me."

"…"

"I'm not leaving you, okay? It's not like I'm dying that easily.

And even if I die one day…

Don't forget that we're family, Mika. Not even death could change that."

He said looking at him with a warm smile.

Mika stared at him wide-eyed for a few seconds.

 _After all these years, you still…_

He quickly turned away from him.

Yuu was confused by this reaction.

 _What the…? Is he ignoring me again?_

 _I just said that…_

He noticed that Mika was slightly shaking.

"… Mika? What's wrong?"

"…"

He bent forward to have a better look at him.

"Mika?"

He couldn't see his entire face but he could see that tears were streaming down his cheek.

 _He's crying?_

 _Why? Is it because of what I said?_

Yuu leaned back again. He was thinking about a way to calm him down, as he suddenly heard a voice.

"…Yuu-Chan?"

"Hm?"

"I really… don't want… to see you… die."

Mika managed to say between all the quiet sobs.

"I couldn't… stand it…"

 _I don't want to lose you…_

"I'm afraid… I'm afraid…to be left alone… I don't want that…"

 _Please. Don't leave me…_

 _Don't leave me alone…_

"It's terrifying… and painful… to be alone…"

"I know."

"…I really… want to stay… with you…But… If I do…It'll only make it… even harder… to say goodbye…

I… don't want to say… Goodbye…

I want… to talk with you…

I want… to spend more… time with you…

I don't… want to be alone… again…"

 _I want to stay with you…_

Mika couldn't take it anymore. These four whole years in which he had to endure this loneliness he hold himself back from crying. He always hid his emotions, never showed them to anyone.

But the thought of Yuu dying and being alone again was too much for him to handle. He broke down.

Yuu didn't quite know what to do.

 _Dammit… I didn't mean to make him cry…_

 _I didn't know that it would affect him that much…_

He was slightly overtaxed with the situation. He looked to the ground and tried to think of a way to comfort him.

 _Comforting people really isn't my strong point…_

 _What should I say?_

 _I don't know what to do in a situation like this…_

His thoughts were interrupted by Mika's sobs. He looked at him again.

 _Back then…_

 _He always smiled…_

 _Never showed any tears…_

 _Never seemed sad…_

 _Had always this strong presence…_

 _but…_

 _He… also has such a side, huh?_

Without realizing it, Yuu reached out his hand to him and gently patted his head.

"I'm here, Mika. I'm not leaving you alone. As long as I live I'll stay with you.

We have still a lot to talk about. So… Stay with me, okay?"

He said in a low voice.

Mika didn't respond. All Yuu could hear were his sobs, but he didn't mind not getting an answer from him.

As long as he knows that he's not alone he didn't mind at all.

* * *

A long time passed.

Mika stopped shaking and his sobs slowly became quieter until he was completely silent.

Yuu removed his hand.

 _He became quiet, huh?_

 _It was quite a shock…_

… _I never saw him like that before…_

 _I really didn't know what to do…_

 _He never seemed like he would cry that easily._

 _He… went through a lot the past four years, huh?_

He remembered Mika's words.

 _Being afraid that I could die…_

 _Nobody said this before._

 _If something's happen to me, he'll surely…_

 _I don't want to think about that._

 _I'm sure he'll change his mind if he get to know the others…_

His thoughts wandered off to his friends.

 _I wonder what they're doing right now._

Mika's words echoed in his mind.

" _They even protected me…"_

 _To go against orders in order to protect him…_

 _They did it for me… Risked their lives…_

 _I have to thank them for that._

He smiled.

 _They're really something._

 _What would I do without these guys?_

"Thinking about your friends?"

He was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts with this question.

He glanced over to Mika and noticed that he was looking at him.

"You could tell?"

"You always have this certain look on your face, when you think of them… Or when you talk about them. So I can pretty much tell."

He said with a quiet voice. Yuu saw that his eyes were still swollen from crying.

"… Feeling better now?"

"… A little. I cried until I had no tears left… I don't think that I ever cried this much in my entire life."

He said, while looking sadly to the ground.

"See? That's prove you're not a monster. Monsters don't cry."

Yuu tried to comfort him.

As he heard those words Mika smiled.

"You never give up, do you?"

"Of course not. I'm not letting you call yourself something you're not. We're family after all."

As he spoke these words he remembered what happened the last time he mentioned the word "family" in front of him.

 _Shit… I hope he doesn't start to cry again…_

He hesitantly glanced over to him.

But instead of crying he looked at him with a warm smile. The same smile he always had when they're were kids

"Yeah. We're family."

Yuu stared at him for a few seconds but this time Mika didn't turn away.

"What?"

He asked, holding his gaze.

"Huh? Ah. Nothing. Just thought that… Your smile… didn't change at all…

A-anyway…"

He broke the eye contact.

"Any idea where we should meet the others?"

He asked trying to change the subject.

"The girl with the scythe said they were heading to the airport of Nagoya."

"The airport, huh?"

"I'll take you there."

Yuu didn't expect to hear that from him.

"So you decided to come with me?"

He asked wanting to know if he was serious.

"As far as I know you, you wouldn't find the way anyway. You would only get lost."

"I wouldn't!"

Yuu protested.

"Of course I would find the way on my own."

He bragged. He didn't want to admit that Mika was right with his assumption that Yuu didn't know where he should go.

"But… If you insist so badly on taking me there, then I gladly accept your offer."

Mika gave a small laugh.

"You're really bad at lying, Yuu-Chan."

"I'm not the one who's lying! "I'll take you there", huh? The truth is you want to come with me!"

"Yeah."

He replied promptly.

Yuu looked at him in surprise.

 _Wait, what? It's the truth? I only said that to tease him…_

 _I expected him to deny that…_

He saw in his eyes that he wasn't lying and looked sheepishly to the side.

"…Fine. I lied. I don't know where the airport is."

"You give in? That's rare. Usually you're more stubborn."

Mika said jokingly.

Yuu looked at him, obviously not amused.

"At least I'm able to accept someone's help and don't overestimate myself by trying to shoulder all my problems all on my own."

After a short while Mika said with a smirk:

" "Let me carry some of the weight, too.", right?"

Yuu turned slight red.

"Don't you dare to say even one word to one of my friends about what I said to you."

Yuu exhorted him.

 _If Shinoa hears about that, she'll tease me about that for the rest of my life._

 _Just why did he had to hear everything?_

"Understand? Not. A. Single. Word."

"Okay."

Mika replied, knowing he wouldn't forgive him, if he told one of his friends about that.

It was still dark outside. The moon didn't show any signs of setting soon to give way for the sun rising.

Yuu yawned. Until now he didn't even realize he felt this tired.

"You tired?"

Mika asked, looking at him.

"Yeah. Couldn't sleep earlier because a certain someone decided to misuse me as a pillow."

"I'm sorry, Yuu-Chan."

He apologized.

"That's why… lend me your shoulder for a while."

He said shyly. The last part of the sentence came out as a whisper.

Before Mika could say anything, Yuu leaned against his shoulder with his eyes closed.

Mika first looked at him in surprise but then he smiled.

"…Sure."

Mika didn't say anything further. He wanted to let him sleep.

A few minutes passed and all he could hear was Yuu's steady breathing as he leaned against his shoulder.

 _Fell asleep already, huh?_

 _He must have been really exhausted…_

 _Giving me his blood…_

 _Lecturing me…_

 _Comforting me…_

 _This whole time he stayed awake for me…_

 _And didn't leave me alone…_

 _He really…_

"… Thanks."

Yuu interrupted his thoughts in a sleepy voice and his eyes still closed.

"For what?"

"For saving me."

Mika didn't know what he meant.

"Weren't you the one who saved me?"

"You saved me a long time ago. Back then at the orphanage. As you held out your hand and didn't give up on me. I never really thanked you for that."

"And why now?"

"Because I've always regretted… that I wasn't able to tell you. I don't want to regret that again.

So… thanks for being there."

"And giving your life meaning?"

He asked teasingly.

"Could you stop that already?!"

He asked angrily.

Mika laughed at his reply.

"Idiot."

Yuu murmured.

It amused Mika to see his friend getting so worked up over that.

He looked at Yuu and remembered all the things he said.

 _I was really happy as I heard those words._

 _It was the first time I felt that… I belonged somewhere…_

 _And it was also the first time I heard him speaking so openly about his emotions._

 _It really surprised me._

 _I was afraid that he would stop if I say anything. That's why I remained silent._

 _I wanted to listen. I wanted to hear his voice._

 _I wasn't sure if I should let him go back, but as he talked about those humans…_

 _The way he talked about them…_

 _The way he looks when he thinks about them…_

 _The way they protected him…_

 _I realized that he really cares about them… That they cared about him, too…_

 _And I felt… not needed anymore._

 _But then he said that they could never replace me… And that… I'm his home…_

 _I really had to hold back my tears in that moment._

 _And earlier, as he said that we're family…_

 _I couldn't hold them back anymore._

 _I always wanted to hear that from him again. That we're family._

 _But I wasn't sure if he still considers me that, after I became a vampire…_

 _I intended to say goodbye to him… but as I heard those words…_

 _I didn't want to say goodbye anymore. I wanted to stay with him._

 _Even though I know what will happen…_

 _I don't want to leave him…_

 _I'm still afraid of his death but… I want to stay with him._

 _Even if it's only for a day… or an hour… or just a minute…_

 _I want to stay…_

As he thought about those things he also began to feel very tired. He slowly closed his eyes.

"Yuu-Chan?"

"Mhm?"

Yuu replied sleepily.

Before they both drifted off to sleep Mika said with a smile on his face:

"I'm home."


End file.
